


Truth or Bare (All)

by chucks_prophet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cursed, Cursed Dean Winchester, Dean isn't good with words, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Obviously Because It's Season 15, Sarcastic Castiel (Supernatural), Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Sexual Humor, Some angst, Spoilers, but mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27130879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chucks_prophet/pseuds/chucks_prophet
Summary: “This seems like the easiest curse to manage. It's not like you're harboring a massive secret a matter of life or death."“Right,” Dean confirms, resting a hand on the bookshelf next to him. His hand slips, rattling the MOL scimitar sword in its holder. He jumps back as it falls with a loud series of clanks.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 84
Collections: The Shatterdome's Trick-or-Treat Challenge





	Truth or Bare (All)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a post I saw on Reddit where user AngelRose on Amino Apps posited a headcanon about a curse involving someone being influenced to tell the truth by a series of bad events.
> 
> Prompt fill: A2. Cursed (took the creative liberty to make it funny rather than angsty)

"Hey Dean, do you—?"

"My name’s Dean Winchester," Dean repeats to himself. Normally, he’d be halfway down the stairs leading to the study, but today he moves with careful precision, as if each step is slick with ice. “I'm 41 years old,” he continues, “I like Scooby Doo, cherry pie, and strippers. I’m 6’1”… I eat ridiculously unhealthy…. I have a penis..."

Sam punctuates his confusion with rapid blinking. He stares at Dean, who’s still bracing himself with his hands despite making it to ground floor. "What're you doing?"

"Trying not to do worse than crashing the Impala today."

"You—?!" Sam folds the cover on the book he’s reading, whose paper looks like it was made from Lizzy Borden’s axe. (They seriously have to update their collection.) “What happened?”

"Don't worry; it's just a minor fender bender.”

"Okay, what does you mumbling… whatever you’re saying... have to do with crashing the car?"

"I think that witch bitch in Aurora _Liar Liar’d_ me,” Dean explains, risking a step forward. “Cursed me or something, because every time I tell a lie, disaster strikes. I bang my head, I stub my toe, I get rear-ended—I got assaulted by a _cucumber_ at the grocers, Sam.”

Sam scoffs, “Dean, I’ve never seen you anywhere near the produce section.”

“I…” Dean glances around him at all the knives hanging more precariously than he remembered above him on display and sighs. “I saw a hot chick near the cabbage. We started talking and that led to flirting and I may have… insinuated… something with a cucumber and her head of cabbage—”

“Okay, thank you,” Sam interrupts, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I guess… I don’t know… _don't_ lie until we find a way to reverse the curse?”

"Stellar plan, Sam.”

"Well I mean c'mon Dean,” he says, retrieving his laptop, “this seems like the easiest curse to manage. It's not like you're harboring a massive secret a matter of life or death."

“Right,” Dean confirms, resting a hand on the bookshelf next to him. His hand slips, rattling the MOL scimitar sword in its holder. He jumps back as it falls with a loud series of clanks.

Sam just shakes his head. “Perfect. Okay, just... try not to speak then. You're not lying if you don't talk, right?"

"Yeah,” Dean says, mulling it over before turning to head back upstairs, “yeah, that's true.”

"But first…”

Dean retracts his foot hovering over the first step. "Oh no."

"Do you actually hate my hair?”

“You look like Steven Tyler discovered a flat iron,” Dean smarts before being smarted by the side of the step, smashing his big toe like an accordion. He bites his lip so hard he draws blood.

Sam just chuckles. “That may still be true, but it looks like _you_ got stuck with the big mouth.”

👄

“Cursed… to tell the truth?”

“Yeah,” Dean affirms. “Leave it to me to piss off a witch with a Jim Carrey obsession.”

Cas just tilts his head in question.

“ _Liar Liar?_ Seriously?”

“I’ve seen it in passing on our HBO Max subscription.”

Dean throws his head back. “Wait, you use the HBO Max subscription?”

“I’ve become… more _human_ … in the last few years, I have physiological—“ Cas scoffs and a blush finds his face before his hands find his hips. “I’m not the one swearing on a Bible here, Dean. How do we fix it?”

“Sam’s looking up a reversal spell as we speak.”

“And you prayed for me because…? Our top witch contact is the ruler of Hell now, so she isn’t exactly up the street anymore. And you know I can’t reverse spells…”

Dean shifts in place. "If I don't say it now while I'm cursed I won’t say it ever and it’s not like we have the rest of our lives with everything going on, so here it goes.”

He glances around, this time to find inspiration in his surroundings. Unfortunately, with the whole smiting Bruce Almighty thing, he hasn’t had time to clean, so all that stares back at him are his garden of beer bottles growing in his paper trail of old news clippings and police reports and the mounds of vinyl stacked atop a packed five-drawer dresser. That’s when an idea hits him.

Instead of moving to the dresser to shove stray underwear and flannel back in, he removes the records from his player. Sliding the current vinyl out from underneath the grasp of the needle, he starts combing through the stack until he finds it.

The needle crackles and pops until it hits the verse he’s looking for:

_“Way up high in the sky, hey, whoa_

_But the wind won't blow_

_You really shouldn't go_

_It only goes to show_

_That you will be mine_

_By takin' our time, ooh...”_

Dean removes the needle once more and turns back to face Cas. "I know you have that deal with The Empty, and maybe you don't feel the same way, but I like you, okay? Like _'sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g'_ like you. I couldn’t let you…” Dean bites his lip to stop the quivering. “I had to tell you before it was too late.”

Cas remains as silent and unmoving as the space between them. There’s not much to make from his expression either aside from a couple blinks.

"Well say something, man."

"I mean… I like you too,” Cas replies and Dean’s heart feels like it’s next to a stereo at a Rob Zombie concert, “but I've died for you."

"What?"

"Love is a little more appropriate."

Dean releases the breath he’s been holding and laughs, "Okay, alright, yeah, I _love_ you, you idiot. _And_ I really wanna kiss you, but I don’t want it to…”

Cas nods in understanding. "Right."

"Maybe... I don't know, dead puppies?"

"What?"

"Dead puppies," Dean repeats, "that's what they say to think about so you don't laugh or smile."

"That's incredibly morbid,” Cas states with a scowl. “I think we have enough tragedy in our lives to keep us from laughing or smiling."

Dean scoffs, “Ain’t that the truth” before throwing caution to the wind by closing the gap between them.

**Author's Note:**

> Song reference: "What is and What Should Never Be" by Led Zeppelin


End file.
